2014 Ford E-250

For Sale: 2014 Ford E-250 – The Van That’s Basically a Mullet on Wheels Price: $Let’s Haggle Like It’s a Yard Sale Mileage: Only 270,000 – Basically a Teenager in Van Years Meet your new best friend: a 2014 Ford E-250 with a 4.6L V8 that’s got more grit than a cowboy’s handshake. Business in the front (sleek white exterior, perfect for your questionable logo), party in the back (cargo space so big you could host a rave and park a couch). This beast is flex-fuel capable, so it’ll sip E85 or regular gas like it’s choosing between craft beer and whatever’s on tap. With 225 horsepower and 286 lb-ft of torque, it’s got enough oomph to haul your tools, your dreams, or that weird thrift store lamp you swore you’d flip for profit. This van’s been around the block—literally—but it’s still kicking with a 4-speed automatic that shifts smoother than your uncle’s pickup lines at Thanksgiving. Perfect for contractors, delivery hustlers, or anyone who’s ever said, “I could live in this thing!” (Spoiler: You totally could—there’s room for a mattress and your dignity.) The A/C blows cold enough to freeze your ex’s heart, and the radio’s loud enough to drown out your life choices. Sure, it’s got some “character” (read: a few dings and a mysterious stain that’s probably just coffee), but that’s what makes it a legend. Last of its kind with the 4.6L engine—Ford said “sayonara” to this gem in 2015, so you’re basically buying a collector’s item. Or at least that’s what I’ll tell the tax man. Test drives available, but only if you promise not to ask if it’s “haunted.” (It’s not. Probably.) Call now—my wife says it’s this van or her, and I’m pretty sure she’s bluffing. Call/text Ryan (contact info removed)