Kate Spade Wallet

🚨 EXTREMELY RARE WALLET ALERT 🚨 Behold! A Kate Spade wallet, in an elegant shade of “Royal Maroon of the Elders” (or maybe Purple-ish Burgundy Supreme—I’m not a color scientist). This fine artifact was mysteriously left in my home by a powerful enchantress named Priscilla, who has yet to return for it. Is she testing me? Is this a quest? A curse? Who’s to say? ✅ Contains a mystical assortment of Priscilla’s stuff (ID, cards, probably some gum wrappers). ✅ 100% authentic (unless Kate Spade was a medieval blacksmith, in which case I’ve been misled). ✅ Smells faintly of adventure and responsibility. 💰 WILL TRADE FOR: • 5 gallons of unfiltered, raw milk (preferably from a cow, but I’ll consider exotics—yaks, moose, etc.). • 3 emotionally stable goats (bonus if they respond to their names). • A gently used trebuchet (range of at least 100 yards, please). • A full tank of gas for my ‘02 Chevy Silverado (I’ll throw in a heartfelt handshake). • One (1) locally sourced, ethically raised, sentient wheel of cheese. First to make a trade gets this Priscilla Relic AND the honor of explaining to her why they now own her wallet. Serious inquiries only. DM me before she realizes I’ve done this.