NEW 100% SILK Kimono by Kim+Ono ($480 Retail)

Give your wife an anniversary/birthday/apology present that she will NEVER forget!!! Tributing her with a SILK kimono is some PhD-level husbandry. “Umm, that word actually means—” Ask yourself: Are you a Hero Husband…or a Lifetime Channel Husband? A Hero Husband bends his knee to present an exquisite kimono befitting his goddess. A Lifetime Channel Husband bends his back to watch the game during dinner, after he arrives home from his girlfriend’s house, but before he neglects to ask his wife about her day, and all while he’s thinking about the body in his trunk. You get the idea. If you want to be THAT man your wife brags about to all her divorced friends, then keep on reading. Just what is this Wife Winner? ‘Tis nothing less than a pure silk kimono by Kim + Ono. Retail: $480 w/ tax & shipping My price: $150 BRAND NEW! -Tags attached MINT CONDITION! ZERO WRINKLES! Colors: -Misty gray -Charcoal -Soft peach Ready to wear!!! -Perfect for luxurious lounging at home or as a sophisticated duster draped over evening wear. HAND-PAINTED!!! 100% SILK! -Buttery soft! -You might not be soft for much longer after she opens her gift. LENGTH & SIZE: -54” -One size fits most One of a kind! -No two hand-painted kimonos are exactly alike. CARE: -Dry clean only. Due to the indescribable beauty, premium quality, and unique artistry of this silk kimono, I cannot guarantee that your gift to her won’t result in another child. Proceed with caution. No refunds. And no, I will not take your kimono-induced baby. Pick-up in Danville. Cash/Venmo accepted. Price is firm.